Sunday, April 3, 2011

Five Reasons Why I Love Dating Men Who Look Nothing Like Me

I've always loved interracial couples. This is probably forced by the fact that I have never dated anyone who looks like me. Well... that's not true. There was that one security guard who worked at a bar near Fenway but his teeth were incorrigible and he lived with his grandma and once had his mom call me to tell me he said "hey"... so that ended real quick.

Anyway, I love dating boys who look (and sound) nothing like me. Below are five reasons why, most of which are inspired by an Old Flame from London who I still think I could marry if the timing were ever right.


He makes "us" look interesting
I always joke that I'm boring: I'm straight up African American, born and raised in Boston, and currently living in NYC. My parents were both born and raised in the south, prior to making the move to Boston before I came into the picture. *yawn* I'd love to have an interesting fact about myself, like my friend, who speaks Mandarin at home, or my bromo (brother from another mother), who thinks of Ackee as a staple of his diet. Dating a boy who looks and sounds nothing like me gives me a closer window into what feels like a different world.

He encourages me to try new things
I once dated a man who used to take me out all over the island of Manhattan. I felt glamorous, in that Carrie Bradshaw way where I never ate at the same place twice, and always found myself having a brilliant time. This man indulged my inner princess by ordering for me where ever we went. I loved every moment of it, especially because most items weren't on the menu but classic staples of his diet back home (he was not a native New Yorker). His ease in offering me new experiences encouraged me to approach my own life with the same amount of curiosity as I experienced with him. #Winning.

He introduces me to new music 
This post was primarily inspired by a song that came on shuffle while listening to my iPhone. Yes, it sounds like old school Backstreet Boys, but I met this man in 2005 so can you really blame us for the corny love songs? My iTunes has a nice little collection of recommended French R&B that I try and save for those special moments when I need to remember. But it's always a nice surprise when one of those sings comes on shuffle and makes my heart flutter.

The promise of an unexpected reunion
Last year, I found myself traveling to London and Dubai for work and realizing how blessed I was to take advantage of such a great opportunity. Even more so because Facebook (love it or hate it) alerted me that my Old Flame was living in Dubai. Our reunion was one of the most perfect nights of my life. Even better that it ended watching the sun come up in Dubai, where I found myself back in the cozy spot in his arms with his body wrapped around mine.

He gives me language lessons in bed
My favorite memory of my time with Old Flame was one night, after a beautiful dinner and home made pastries for dessert (did I mention he's a pastry chef?), we climbed in bed. As I found my cozy spot in his arms and he wrapped himself around me, he said through his thick French accent, "let me teach you something." Obviously, I said yes because men love to teach women new things. Little did I know, he was about to blow me away with some of the most beautiful French and Arabic I'd ever heard. I tried my hardest to repeat the words back, but I'm hopeless at learning and retaining languages. His effort to break the words up into easy to say syllables was extra romantic to me. The words and sentences he taught me I'll keep to myself. Not because they were inappropriate, but because there are some memories a girl simply must keep to herself.

Disclaimer: I would gladly date a boy who looks like me, I just have yet to find one that gives me that Zsa Zsa Zsu. Think you have what it takes? I'm accepting applications.


  1. same here girl same here i've never dated anyone that looks like me either its fun!


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