I have been part of a series of texts that I feel the need to share with all the ladies out there. Thanks to my fancy iPhone 4s, I took these lovely screenshots, and then gussied them up in PowerPoint (shh) for your enjoyment.
I should probably give you the backstory. We met at my girl's second annual Halloween party, where he professed his love within 15 minutes of us meeting. Perhaps I was entertaining the idea that I'd just found 2012's boyfriend. Despite his constant texts calling me "sweetie", the glitter and sparkles quickly wore off when I discovered this "single man" was actually taken. So on Saturday night, while fueled by the power of a few vodka sodas, I finally sent him a simple text back: "you calling me sweetie or your girlfriend?" See the rest for yourself:
Now, let's dissect these texts. Please follow along with the numbers as detailed above and below:
Stop sending me photos like we're close. I don't know you, man.
How many times can you call someone sweetie? In my messages I count over 10 times. That's more than once a day for an entire week.
You got caught. Don't diffuse the truth with an "lol".
Yes, I have you on Facebook. And your account isn't private, therefore anything in is public knowledge as supplied by you. As Larissa put it: "people now-a-days don't realize that anyone can find who you are and what you do. If you're ballsy enough to put your business out there, then you're ballsy enough to get called on it." And besides, who gon' check me, boo?
Does your girlfriend really do her own thing? Does she know you're doing yours? Girls aren't always as "free spirited" as they say.
So be careful out there, ladies. It's a dog eat dog world. If you need help dissecting texts or are in need of an anthem to help you forget the foolishness, you can always turn to me.
In honor of this week's airing of Black Girls Rock!Awards (which re-aired last night), I felt inspired to our together my own list of black girls who honestly rock. You see, I love this movement Beverly Bond, mainly because we once interacted on a personal level. I'd pitched her as a potential DJ for an upcoming event with a female client, who later decided she didn't want to share the stage with another gorgeous woman. Despite this blatant insecurity, I had to break the news to Beverly. Her response was simple: "why can't girls rock out together?" ...I promptly fell in love with her.
I love this movement by Beverly and felt inspired to put together a list of my own women who rock.
What kind of list would this be if it didn't begin with the founder of Black Girls Rock!?
Beverly, a New York based DJ, created the began the nonprofit organization in 2006. The goal? To create a safe space for black females (girls and women alike). The organization is committed to the development and betterment of black women across the world. Since it's induction, it has been incredible to see BGR! taking flight through an awards show running two years strong among other outreach programs.
By creating a space for young black girls to find positive mainstream representation of themselves, Beverly has earned the title many times over as a black girl who rocks.
Look at her. The woman can honestly do no wrong. However, she's listed in this post because Kerry and I shared a moment a few years ago at the Conde Nast Traveler Reader's Choice Awards. I was there because it was my job to tell celebrities what to do (oh this life I lead...), she was there presenting an award.
She came up to me and said "sister honey, do you think I can slip away after my award? My body weary" with a wink. Actually, it was probably more along the lines of "can I go when I'm done? I'm tired" but knowing what kind of stunning, strong, and funny black woman she is, I'm going to stick with the latter. We shared a moment filled with laughter and a wink from me that said I won't tell if you leave, and since then, I've been a Kerry Washington stan.
I love me some Gabby Sidibe.
I think it has to do with her Hollywood style Cinderella Story. Apparently, she wanted nothing to do with the acting world and was going to school for something completely unrelated (like science or math or something equally horrific). Anyway, point is, she attended a casting call for Precious on a whim and the rest is history.
Aside from the above, I find Gabby completely stunning from inside and out. Her laugh is infectious, her positive attitude is inspring. If she's slated to be on any talk show, I'm DVRing it to hear who her latest celebrity crush is. She's easily one of us (the normal ones), except even more adorable.
Corinne Bailey Rae
This summer I spent an extended amount of time in The Tents at Lincoln Center for Mercedes Benz Fashion Week. Every day without fail, I'd see a gorgeous woman with beautiful hair walk by the space I was producing. She had a new and fierce outfit each day, I was dying to figure out who she was. Then one day, when I died and found myself in Essence (heaven), I found her in a similar Street Style blog. It was Corrine Bailey Rae.
In general, I've enjoyed her music since she released her freshman album. Like everyone else, I was left speechless at the news her husband had passed away and she went into a mourning period. Since then, she has released a cover of Bob Marley's Is This Love that truly is love and has rebranded herself as a fashion maven.
I find her a truly courageous woman to emerge this way after tragedy.
At this year's Black Girls Rock! Awards, Tatyana was awards the Young, Gifted, & Black Award.
She took the stage looking absolutely stunning, a very grown up Ashley Banks, who she played on the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire from the ages of 11 to 18.
In taking a hiatus from acting, Tatyana attended Harvard University to study Political Science and African American Studies. Through her work there, she's become an activist, focusing a tremendous amount of attention on education issues that affect our youth.
When accepting her award, she wrote a letter to her younger self, hoping it will help America's black youth. She spoke wisely about faith, family, and love; word that women of all ages need to remember as we move forward in our lives.
On Halloween, news broke that Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries were ending their 72 day union. Kim planned on filing for divorce siting the (often overused) term irreconcilable differences. While divorce is never something to be celebrated or taken lightly, it seems like across the world, the general public can't help but let out one collective chuckle.
This was the wedding heard (and watched) around the world. The union, which was displayed on television as a strained one in my opinion, came together in a way that screamed fairy tale. When twitter informed me of the divorce yesterday, I couldn't help but wonder if fairy tales weren't meant to come true. Sure, we all want to marry the man of our dreams, but the union has to be a grounded one, right? Then I began to wonder how I could ensure this - and decided there are four important questions I must ask myself before saying I do:
Do you trust him with your life?
My mother once said to me, "I don't want to give you your passport until you get married. At that time, I will give it to your husband." Yes, this moment involved a side eye over the telephone. But, I've since realized that this sentiment really means my mother hopes I find someone she can trust with her most prized possession, her daughter. This person becomes responsible for my life, my finances, my general well-being. Just as I do for him. So we have to trust each other with our most prized possessions: ourselves.
What does your family think?
I will never forget the day in high school that I went on my first date. There was a horrible storm and our power was out. When my date came to pick me up, my parents opened the door with an industrial sized flashlight and began to bombard him with questions. I don't remember the full conversation (blacked out from mortification) but I do remember it ended with my date squeaking "and I test my breaks after every puddle!" My father nodded his nod and we were off. My father's nod is very specific and only appears when he is truly satisfied with something or someone. I'll know my future husband is a good fit for me and my family when my father nods his nod.
Can you stop sweating the small stuff?
I've learned that relationships aren't easy. They're not supposed to be. Relationships are hard work, and understanding how you and your mate are compatible takes time. It's easy to get caught up in social events and mutual friends but I am more concerned about is what happens when you're alone? Do you still love his dirty socks on the counter or the way he squeezes the toothpaste out of the holder? It may all sound trivial, but sometimes sweating the small stuff is what ends a relationship. If you can learn how to live together, dirty socks and all, then you can get through more than you imagined.
Are you on the same page?
According to one of the many speculators out there, Kim and Kris couldn't decide on where to live. According to the show, they also couldn't decide on how to spend their money (Kim is a big spender, Kris is frugal) and where their pets would sleep (in their bed or in a dog bed). One of the most important things I want to know before I get married is whether or not we are on the same page about everything. I mean absolutely everything: finances, children, pets, where to live, where to vacation, how to decorate, what's for dinner... I really mean everything. But most importantly, if we can't agree on where to live, how do we ever expect to happily live together?
What questions do you plan to ask yourself before you say I do?