Friday, October 7, 2011

Is the Internet Ruining Our Future Relationships?


I keep hearing these stories by my friends about the various ways in which the internet is causing strain on either a potential or current relationship. So much so that I felt the need to sit down and write about it.

I think it's becoming an epidemic. We meet someone organically, then we learn about them in an inorganic way through Google, Facebook, Twitter, or whatever else is out there. Pick your poison, either way we're gaining intimate knowledge too quickly.

In short, the answer is yes the internet is ruining our relationships. But, in talking with Dushane of The Post Cool about the issue, he brought up an important point:

Is it ruining relationships or saving you from future tragic discoveries? 

Perhaps he's right. In an episode of The Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stranger sent NFL player Freddie Mitchell on what was supposed to be an enjoyable date with a southern belle and former cheerleader. The date ended in shock when she confessed she googled him and called the millionaire out for not paying child support. This is likely a subject that would have been broached in conversation when the time was right. Because she googled him, it was inappropriately brought up on their first date and signaled the demise of their budding relationship. Perhaps she avoided a future tragic discovery, but in the meantime, she also put the fire out on what could have been a fun and exciting relationship between two former athletes.

A friend of mine recently confessed that she'd gotten to googling a date just hours before they were due to meet. After searching a number of articles, she found several that mentioned his wife and children. She panicked, and cancelled the date immediately. We ran through our options quickly: "When was the article written?" I asked. She wasn't sure. "Maybe he's since divorced or separated..." I suggested but it was too late, the damage was done and the date stayed cancelled.

I've been crushing on a man at my gym recently. We flirt by the weights and I always practice my highest kicks if he's walking by the Total Body Fitness class. I'm gonna go ahead and classify this as love at first highkick. I knew his first name and that he lived in Queens, so I took to google. After a bit of digging, I found his MySpace page. MySpace? Really? I clicked around and found a series of notes written by my gymcrush, all written in full capitals with no punctuation and spelling errors galore. Needless to say, now, when I see gymcrush I think "why do you still have a MySpace" and "did you go to college?". Clearly, we're going nowhere fast.

I have no clue what's right and what's wrong in this situation. However, I do know that if you go looking for dirt you're bound to get dirty. While we may be saving ourselves from future tragic discoveries, we're also forfeiting the life changing moments (both good and bad) of going through a relationship. Regardless of the outcome, you're often changed for the better.

Now, is that really so bad? 

1 comment:

  1. I think you find out about imperfections too soon, without considering the person might have changed or there were complicated facts involved that lead to a certain situation. If you get to know a person, the good can overweigh the bad and you can oversee flaws. By the time you find out about certain things you may have already fallen for the person and these things seem unimportant suddenly, imo. I don't really bother digging, I'm pretty quick on spotting flaws on a first date, not a gift I can tell you that!


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