Thursday, August 11, 2011

Guest Post: The Five Mistakes Women Make During Sports Season

I read a post on a blog a while ago that outlined a few tips for women on proper sports season behavior. It was pretty funny, but got me thinking about the male perspective. So I obviously reached out to my favorite dude for a little advice and he basically sent me a banging guest post. Poignant, heartfelt, and hysterical, I couldn't let another day go by without sharing this with you. Ladies, listen up. Men, comment if you agree.


Without further ado, please enjoy this guest post by my boy Jah entitled: The Five Mistakes Women Make During Sports Season




Let me start out by saying that there are 4 types of women when it comes to sports:
  1. The TRUE sports fan: One that knows a sport(s), knows the players, and understands the game.
  2. The OCCASIONAL sports fan: Kinda keeps up sometimes, has a general interest but doesn’t try to pretend she is a wiz.
  3. The FAKE sports fan: The one who really knows nothing about sports... only knows a select few players, still thinks Michael Jordan is in the NBA, doesn’t know what a “touchdown” means, still thinks a quarterback is a refund (old school joke), cheers for whatever team is in the lead, roots for the team with the cutest players or the best uniforms, or the team the boy they like is going for…just plain annoying.
  4. The NON-sports fan: Does not care about sports at all… doesn’t even attempt to pretend she’s interested… would rather watch reality TV, read or sleep while games are on. She might sit and pretend to watch but her mind is certainly elsewhere.
Let me now say that it might be impossible for me to keep my list of mistakes at 5….but let’s try.
  1. If you have a husband/boyfriend/hookup that compromises with you more than enough, leave him alone when the game is on. If you want to sit and be supportive that is fine; however it is not your time to talk and ask a bunch of questions related/unrelated. Questions are mainly for before and/or after the game.
  2. It is not all about you. Do not constantly position yourself in front of the television when you don’t feel like you’re getting enough attention. I am pretty sure when games are not on, you get plenty. If not, that is a totally different issue (you might need a new man).
  3. Do not huff and puff, and make noises that show your disinterest. It is a personal problem if you can’t entertain yourself for the 2 hours the game is on. That does not mean you have to kill the excitement for us.
  4. DO NOT try to “get busy” while games are on. Fcuk you - go that way. I hate when girls try to get all sexy just to see if you will stop watching the game to play around with them. There is a time and place for everything. There's nothing worse than a girl trying to test you - and then she gets mad when you don’t stop everything you’re doing. Where is all of that sexy interest in me when Sex & the City is on? Don’t worry I’ll wait...
  5. Understand that a man’s interests are exactly that. He loved sports before you got there, he’ll love them while you’re around, and if the relationship doesn’t last he’ll still love sports when you’re gone. Do everyone a favor and accept that. Stop trying to change guys into that ideal fantasy guy you dream up while you’re in LALA LAND. Nobody is perfect and I’m pretty sure the dude isn’t distracting you from some of the random nonsense you love to do.
If women can learn some of these important tips, a perfect season is in the near future. Compromise and acceptance are important. Ladies, leave guys alone when they’re in their zone. It actually works in your favor when you aren’t the annoying girlfriend. We'll want to spend more time with you later on.

Oh, and do yourselves a favor. Stop having SUPERBOWL parties. You don’t have a CLUE what’s going on. #KNOCKITOFF

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