Monday, December 26, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Public Service Announcement: Ladies Beware! Men!
I have been part of a series of texts that I feel the need to share with all the ladies out there. Thanks to my fancy iPhone 4s, I took these lovely screenshots, and then gussied them up in PowerPoint (shh) for your enjoyment.
I should probably give you the backstory. We met at my girl's second annual Halloween party, where he professed his love within 15 minutes of us meeting. Perhaps I was entertaining the idea that I'd just found 2012's boyfriend. Despite his constant texts calling me "sweetie", the glitter and sparkles quickly wore off when I discovered this "single man" was actually taken. So on Saturday night, while fueled by the power of a few vodka sodas, I finally sent him a simple text back: "you calling me sweetie or your girlfriend?" See the rest for yourself:
So be careful out there, ladies. It's a dog eat dog world. If you need help dissecting texts or are in need of an anthem to help you forget the foolishness, you can always turn to me.
I should probably give you the backstory. We met at my girl's second annual Halloween party, where he professed his love within 15 minutes of us meeting. Perhaps I was entertaining the idea that I'd just found 2012's boyfriend. Despite his constant texts calling me "sweetie", the glitter and sparkles quickly wore off when I discovered this "single man" was actually taken. So on Saturday night, while fueled by the power of a few vodka sodas, I finally sent him a simple text back: "you calling me sweetie or your girlfriend?" See the rest for yourself:
Now, let's dissect these texts. Please follow along with the numbers as detailed above and below:
- Stop sending me photos like we're close. I don't know you, man.
- How many times can you call someone sweetie? In my messages I count over 10 times. That's more than once a day for an entire week.
- You got caught. Don't diffuse the truth with an "lol".
- Yes, I have you on Facebook. And your account isn't private, therefore anything in is public knowledge as supplied by you. As Larissa put it: "people now-a-days don't realize that anyone can find who you are and what you do. If you're ballsy enough to put your business out there, then you're ballsy enough to get called on it." And besides, who gon' check me, boo?
- Does your girlfriend really do her own thing? Does she know you're doing yours? Girls aren't always as "free spirited" as they say.
- See ya!
So be careful out there, ladies. It's a dog eat dog world. If you need help dissecting texts or are in need of an anthem to help you forget the foolishness, you can always turn to me.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
In Honor of Black Girls Rock!: Five Black Girls Who Rock
In honor of this week's airing of Black Girls Rock! Awards (which re-aired last night), I felt inspired to our together my own list of black girls who honestly rock. You see, I love this movement Beverly Bond, mainly because we once interacted on a personal level. I'd pitched her as a potential DJ for an upcoming event with a female client, who later decided she didn't want to share the stage with another gorgeous woman. Despite this blatant insecurity, I had to break the news to Beverly. Her response was simple: "why can't girls rock out together?" ...I promptly fell in love with her.
I love this movement by Beverly and felt inspired to put together a list of my own women who rock.
What kind of list would this be if it didn't begin with the founder of Black Girls Rock!?
Beverly, a New York based DJ, created the began the nonprofit organization in 2006. The goal? To create a safe space for black females (girls and women alike). The organization is committed to the development and betterment of black women across the world. Since it's induction, it has been incredible to see BGR! taking flight through an awards show running two years strong among other outreach programs.
By creating a space for young black girls to find positive mainstream representation of themselves, Beverly has earned the title many times over as a black girl who rocks.
Kerry Washington
Look at her. The woman can honestly do no wrong. However, she's listed in this post because Kerry and I shared a moment a few years ago at the Conde Nast Traveler Reader's Choice Awards. I was there because it was my job to tell celebrities what to do (oh this life I lead...), she was there presenting an award.
She came up to me and said "sister honey, do you think I can slip away after my award? My body weary" with a wink. Actually, it was probably more along the lines of "can I go when I'm done? I'm tired" but knowing what kind of stunning, strong, and funny black woman she is, I'm going to stick with the latter. We shared a moment filled with laughter and a wink from me that said I won't tell if you leave, and since then, I've been a Kerry Washington stan.
Gabourey Sidibe
I love me some Gabby Sidibe.
Like, love.
I think it has to do with her Hollywood style Cinderella Story. Apparently, she wanted nothing to do with the acting world and was going to school for something completely unrelated (like science or math or something equally horrific). Anyway, point is, she attended a casting call for Precious on a whim and the rest is history.
Aside from the above, I find Gabby completely stunning from inside and out. Her laugh is infectious, her positive attitude is inspring. If she's slated to be on any talk show, I'm DVRing it to hear who her latest celebrity crush is. She's easily one of us (the normal ones), except even more adorable.
Corinne Bailey Rae
This summer I spent an extended amount of time in The Tents at Lincoln Center for Mercedes Benz Fashion Week. Every day without fail, I'd see a gorgeous woman with beautiful hair walk by the space I was producing. She had a new and fierce outfit each day, I was dying to figure out who she was. Then one day, when I died and found myself in Essence (heaven), I found her in a similar Street Style blog. It was Corrine Bailey Rae.
In general, I've enjoyed her music since she released her freshman album. Like everyone else, I was left speechless at the news her husband had passed away and she went into a mourning period. Since then, she has released a cover of Bob Marley's Is This Love that truly is love and has rebranded herself as a fashion maven.
I find her a truly courageous woman to emerge this way after tragedy.
I love this movement by Beverly and felt inspired to put together a list of my own women who rock.
Beverly Bond
Beverly, a New York based DJ, created the began the nonprofit organization in 2006. The goal? To create a safe space for black females (girls and women alike). The organization is committed to the development and betterment of black women across the world. Since it's induction, it has been incredible to see BGR! taking flight through an awards show running two years strong among other outreach programs.
By creating a space for young black girls to find positive mainstream representation of themselves, Beverly has earned the title many times over as a black girl who rocks.
Kerry Washington
Look at her. The woman can honestly do no wrong. However, she's listed in this post because Kerry and I shared a moment a few years ago at the Conde Nast Traveler Reader's Choice Awards. I was there because it was my job to tell celebrities what to do (oh this life I lead...), she was there presenting an award.
She came up to me and said "sister honey, do you think I can slip away after my award? My body weary" with a wink. Actually, it was probably more along the lines of "can I go when I'm done? I'm tired" but knowing what kind of stunning, strong, and funny black woman she is, I'm going to stick with the latter. We shared a moment filled with laughter and a wink from me that said I won't tell if you leave, and since then, I've been a Kerry Washington stan.
I love me some Gabby Sidibe.
Like, love.
I think it has to do with her Hollywood style Cinderella Story. Apparently, she wanted nothing to do with the acting world and was going to school for something completely unrelated (like science or math or something equally horrific). Anyway, point is, she attended a casting call for Precious on a whim and the rest is history.
Aside from the above, I find Gabby completely stunning from inside and out. Her laugh is infectious, her positive attitude is inspring. If she's slated to be on any talk show, I'm DVRing it to hear who her latest celebrity crush is. She's easily one of us (the normal ones), except even more adorable.
This summer I spent an extended amount of time in The Tents at Lincoln Center for Mercedes Benz Fashion Week. Every day without fail, I'd see a gorgeous woman with beautiful hair walk by the space I was producing. She had a new and fierce outfit each day, I was dying to figure out who she was. Then one day, when I died and found myself in Essence (heaven), I found her in a similar Street Style blog. It was Corrine Bailey Rae.
In general, I've enjoyed her music since she released her freshman album. Like everyone else, I was left speechless at the news her husband had passed away and she went into a mourning period. Since then, she has released a cover of Bob Marley's Is This Love that truly is love and has rebranded herself as a fashion maven.
I find her a truly courageous woman to emerge this way after tragedy.
Tatyana Ali
At this year's Black Girls Rock! Awards, Tatyana was awards the Young, Gifted, & Black Award.
She took the stage looking absolutely stunning, a very grown up Ashley Banks, who she played on the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire from the ages of 11 to 18.
In taking a hiatus from acting, Tatyana attended Harvard University to study Political Science and African American Studies. Through her work there, she's become an activist, focusing a tremendous amount of attention on education issues that affect our youth.
She took the stage looking absolutely stunning, a very grown up Ashley Banks, who she played on the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire from the ages of 11 to 18.
In taking a hiatus from acting, Tatyana attended Harvard University to study Political Science and African American Studies. Through her work there, she's become an activist, focusing a tremendous amount of attention on education issues that affect our youth.
When accepting her award, she wrote a letter to her younger self, hoping it will help America's black youth. She spoke wisely about faith, family, and love; word that women of all ages need to remember as we move forward in our lives.
What black girls are on your list?
[image sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
What black girls are on your list?
[image sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Four Important Questions to Ask Yourself Before Saying "I Do"
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This was the wedding heard (and watched) around the world. The union, which was displayed on television as a strained one in my opinion, came together in a way that screamed fairy tale. When twitter informed me of the divorce yesterday, I couldn't help but wonder if fairy tales weren't meant to come true. Sure, we all want to marry the man of our dreams, but the union has to be a grounded one, right? Then I began to wonder how I could ensure this - and decided there are four important questions I must ask myself before saying I do:
Do you trust him with your life?
My mother once said to me, "I don't want to give you your passport until you get married. At that time, I will give it to your husband." Yes, this moment involved a side eye over the telephone. But, I've since realized that this sentiment really means my mother hopes I find someone she can trust with her most prized possession, her daughter. This person becomes responsible for my life, my finances, my general well-being. Just as I do for him. So we have to trust each other with our most prized possessions: ourselves.
What does your family think?
I will never forget the day in high school that I went on my first date. There was a horrible storm and our power was out. When my date came to pick me up, my parents opened the door with an industrial sized flashlight and began to bombard him with questions. I don't remember the full conversation (blacked out from mortification) but I do remember it ended with my date squeaking "and I test my breaks after every puddle!" My father nodded his nod and we were off. My father's nod is very specific and only appears when he is truly satisfied with something or someone. I'll know my future husband is a good fit for me and my family when my father nods his nod.
Can you stop sweating the small stuff?
I've learned that relationships aren't easy. They're not supposed to be. Relationships are hard work, and understanding how you and your mate are compatible takes time. It's easy to get caught up in social events and mutual friends but I am more concerned about is what happens when you're alone? Do you still love his dirty socks on the counter or the way he squeezes the toothpaste out of the holder? It may all sound trivial, but sometimes sweating the small stuff is what ends a relationship. If you can learn how to live together, dirty socks and all, then you can get through more than you imagined.
Are you on the same page?
According to one of the many speculators out there, Kim and Kris couldn't decide on where to live. According to the show, they also couldn't decide on how to spend their money (Kim is a big spender, Kris is frugal) and where their pets would sleep (in their bed or in a dog bed). One of the most important things I want to know before I get married is whether or not we are on the same page about everything. I mean absolutely everything: finances, children, pets, where to live, where to vacation, how to decorate, what's for dinner... I really mean everything. But most importantly, if we can't agree on where to live, how do we ever expect to happily live together?
What questions do you plan to ask yourself before you say I do?
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
How to Love
Being a New Yorker is hard.
Being a single female in New York is harder.
But being a skeptical, jaded, single, New York City girl with an open mind about love is the hardest.
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The idea of opening your heart and finding love - any kind of love - is hard to fathom. This includes the idea of love, a potential future of love, flirting your way into love... a lovah... alladem. All I'm saying is if you've been in love (big love) and you've been hurt (which is everyone), then it's nearly impossible to drop your guard, open up your heart and let someone new in.
Case in point - one of my lovely girl friends. She's a super kind, super gorgeous girl with a huge badonkadonk and a skinny waist and a ton of love to give. And she's extra single. Why? She's not sure and neither am I. But then one day over a few glasses of chianti she told me "I don't let guys touch me on the first date."
"Not even hold your hand?" I shouted.
"No!"
"What do you mean, 'no'!?" Now, I should state that this conversation went around in more circles than necessary - likely due to the chianti.
"I don't let guys touch me because all of that is intimate. Holding my hand is very intimate." I was a little dumbstruck. I guess I understood her point, but my first thought was who used to hold your hand and why was it so damn intimate. I immediately asked her if she'd allow a first kiss - arguably the best part of any evening with a new guy after a fun date.
"No!"
"No??!!!!? Ghurl, please!" Clearly, we dissolved into giggles here but through the laughter she told me she was absolutely serious. That if any man touched her on a first date, or a second or even a third, she'd cut them off and move onto the next one.
What is it about girls and our inability to let go and open up? While we're working on saving ourselves from getting hurt again, we're also becoming brilliant at self-sabotage.
Personally, I have one of the best leave me alone side eyes this side of the Hudson, but it might be deterring perfectly fine men from coming up and saying hello. Demetria Lucas of A Belle in Brooklyn has devoted part of her debut book to helping women open up. It involves something as simple as a smile. So I've been getting my practice on to see if it really does work.
"Damn, you ladies and your boots. Stompin' all over my damn heart," a man said to me on the A train platform at West 4th Street on Monday evening. I turned my head and smiled at him, taking the time to size him up. Nothing about him was my type, but what's really in a type anyway?
"Oh man, and that smile! Just damn." And with that he smiled, tipped his hat, and walked away.
Now what was so hard about that?
Unless you're dense or not of this generation, you understand the title of this post is inspired by this song.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Girl About Town: Fabsugar x Frye x Bloomies
Saturdays are often classified as "Maiah Days."
They usually involve minding my own business, shopping, indulging in manicures and pedicures, and roaming the city. I live for these days.
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| Excuse the iPhone photo! |
On the 22nd, I added a quick bit of fashion fun to my weekend routine by attending a cute event thrown by the FabSugar girls. They partnered with Frye and Bloomingdales (59th Street Location) for a small little celebration. Between how much I adore the Sugar, Inc blogs and how much I love my Frye Boots, it was a no-brainer that I'd have to attend.
The event was intimate. It occupied a small corner of the Shoes on 2nd area of Bloomies and was booming with women. A DJ played smooth beats while we oogled at the boots and models posed - each in an outfit with a pair of Frye boots styled by a FabSugar editor.
The super casual nature offered a nice event experience. While I didn't stay long, I did enjoy myself. I sipped on some bubbly, entered to win a pair of boots for myself, and drooled over the Carmen Harness Short Boot and the Dorado Lug Riding Boot. I'm a proud owner of the Jane, but should I ever find myself in need of another pair of leather riding boots, I'm going Dorado... or Carmen... or Dorado.
I was tempted to try a few boots on but there were Frye fanatics everywhere. After hugging the Dorado goodbye, I made my way back to the streets of midtown. But not before trying on a few pieces of David Yurman. Clearly, this girl has a shopping problem.
P.S. Many thanks to Cristina at Sugar, Inc. for the kind email!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
iCovet // 10.22.11
Aw yeah.
My favorite things this week.
I know the week's not over, but it's been saturated with goodness and I'm bursting at the seams.
1
Lush drinks with colleagues and a client at the semi-new Chelsea hotspot, Duo.
French Martinis are still everything.
2
An afternoon in midtown NYC. I'm a sucker for midtown.
3
A quiet escape with a latte and a decadent treat in Juan Valdez.
4
An important reminder to forget about just black and white...
(even though all black everything is everything.)
Monday, October 17, 2011
My Love Is Like ... Clay?
I get my eyebrows threaded at this great little hole in the wall place in Astoria on Broadway. I love it because the prices are cheap ($6), the women don't talk much, it always smells like incense (which reminds me of my father's man cave), and there's always some sort of Bollywood movie playing on repeat. As I closed my eyes and settled in for the threading, I started to reminisce on my previous obsession with Bollywood... it fell parallel to a man I was dating at the time.
We met at a Central Park picnic. I slipped in mud and he cleaned my foot with ice. That's when I knew he was putty in my hands. He showed up at my birthday party a few weeks later and we were inseparable from then on. On my favorite date with him, we ended up at a gorgeous UES restaurant where he ordered everything for me (something some women hate but I happen to love). Several of the items were more traditional, and not on the more America-friendly menu. It was at that point that I fell in love with his culture and thought of myself as an "insider". My Netflix queue held a disproportionate amount of Bollywood movies, I cooked Bhindi Masala and Baingan Bharta like it was part of me, and when I went out to dinner, I ordered off the menu like I knew what I was talking about. He introduced me to the smooth sounds of The Gotan Project, a quirky Parisian electro/nuevo-tango group.
In 2005 I studied abroad in London and met the former love of my life, referred to on the blog as Old Flame. He introduced me to the real London, he showed me the joys of the outer city and the underbelly of Harrod's (he was a pastry chef there) and as we dated, I felt myself growing. It might have just been me getting fat because he was a pastry chef and was always feeding me treats. It also might have been my heart exploding, which was an unfamiliar feeling at the time (also known as "falling in love"). Regardless, I was hooked and as a result, I started to mold myself to him. While in London I started baking uncontrollably. I ran around the Harrod's food halls like I owned the place, and I toyed with the idea of permanently to the UK daily. Because of his Parisian roots, I vowed to learn French - I even took adult language classes at night after school when I returned to the states.. He introduced me to Cornielle, a French R&B crooner with family in Germany, Rwanda and Canada.
I mean, the examples could go on, and on, and on. The more I got to thinking about it, the more curious I became about how I change as I date. Thinking about this on Sunday afternoon, I took to my iTunes and ran through my music. Unchecked song after unchecked song brought back memories of a lover, an ex-boyfriend, or a situation that ended in tears. I realized that my iTunes steadily reflects exactly who I've dated. The timestamp of their download date highlights when we were together, and the missing check is an easy indication of their departure.
Being a music head, my initial thoughts were sadness towards all of the wasted music. You're supposed to grow and change, and your realities are supposed to be expanded when you date someone. But the more I reflected I couldn't help but wonder... how much is too much?
We met at a Central Park picnic. I slipped in mud and he cleaned my foot with ice. That's when I knew he was putty in my hands. He showed up at my birthday party a few weeks later and we were inseparable from then on. On my favorite date with him, we ended up at a gorgeous UES restaurant where he ordered everything for me (something some women hate but I happen to love). Several of the items were more traditional, and not on the more America-friendly menu. It was at that point that I fell in love with his culture and thought of myself as an "insider". My Netflix queue held a disproportionate amount of Bollywood movies, I cooked Bhindi Masala and Baingan Bharta like it was part of me, and when I went out to dinner, I ordered off the menu like I knew what I was talking about. He introduced me to the smooth sounds of The Gotan Project, a quirky Parisian electro/nuevo-tango group.
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In 2005 I studied abroad in London and met the former love of my life, referred to on the blog as Old Flame. He introduced me to the real London, he showed me the joys of the outer city and the underbelly of Harrod's (he was a pastry chef there) and as we dated, I felt myself growing. It might have just been me getting fat because he was a pastry chef and was always feeding me treats. It also might have been my heart exploding, which was an unfamiliar feeling at the time (also known as "falling in love"). Regardless, I was hooked and as a result, I started to mold myself to him. While in London I started baking uncontrollably. I ran around the Harrod's food halls like I owned the place, and I toyed with the idea of permanently to the UK daily. Because of his Parisian roots, I vowed to learn French - I even took adult language classes at night after school when I returned to the states.. He introduced me to Cornielle, a French R&B crooner with family in Germany, Rwanda and Canada.
I mean, the examples could go on, and on, and on. The more I got to thinking about it, the more curious I became about how I change as I date. Thinking about this on Sunday afternoon, I took to my iTunes and ran through my music. Unchecked song after unchecked song brought back memories of a lover, an ex-boyfriend, or a situation that ended in tears. I realized that my iTunes steadily reflects exactly who I've dated. The timestamp of their download date highlights when we were together, and the missing check is an easy indication of their departure.
Being a music head, my initial thoughts were sadness towards all of the wasted music. You're supposed to grow and change, and your realities are supposed to be expanded when you date someone. But the more I reflected I couldn't help but wonder... how much is too much?
Friday, October 14, 2011
iCovet // 10.14.11
A weekly recap of the items I've been coveting. The items that have made me smile.
... My mini one-week obsessions. And I'm sharing them with you because sharing is caring.
... My mini one-week obsessions. And I'm sharing them with you because sharing is caring.
1
Saint Patrick's Cathedral
Escaped from an event in midtown and visited this gorgeous spot in Midtown. I love finding surprising spaces like this in the city - a great reminder to keep exploring.
2
Asa
The singer has just released her sophomore album, Beautiful Imperfection. However, I'd like to note that it is actually, beautiful perfection.
3
A luxuriously lovely lifestyle blog with gorgeous imagery and smart tips for today's woman.
4
The perfect way to sass up a Friday afternoon at work.
❤
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Reed Between the Lines
Not sure if I've been very clear about this in the past but, just in case I haven't, I want to be very clear about it right now: I love me some Tracee Ellis Ross. As in, I will watch marathon after marathon of Girlfriends reruns on BET and Centric just to get my Joan/Tracee fix. The woman is a beautiful comedic genius - hard to come across in general, but especially in the black community.
So, with the buzz surrounding the new BET series, Reed Between The Lines, I was thrilled and excited for the return of my #girlcrush to the boob tube. Tracee plays Dr. Carla Reed, a psychologist with what seems to be a thriving practice and a super handsome hubby in NYU English professor, Dr. Alex Reed. Alex is played by Malcolm-Jamal Warner of Cosby Show Fame where he played heartthrob, Theo.
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The show is pretty incredible for BET programming. It's very exciting to watch BET resurface as a hub for black folks promoting several exciting shows (either re-signed or brand new). Most importantly, it's exciting to see a show like Reed Between The Lines take primetime on Tuesday night.
I once wrote that Demetria Lucas's book, A Belle In Brooklyn, was the perfect outlet for a bougie girl like me. I feel the same exact way about Reed Between The Lines. It's a wonderfully positive representation of successful black people in a super happy marriage. That said, the show is a very realistic take on life with Carla, a former single mother of twins who is still dealing with her ex-files*. She shares an adorable 7-year-old with her main squeeze. The show chronicles the daily trials of two working professionals, raising children, and keeping their marriage fruitful.
The most exciting bit about the show is the fact that I feel like we're receiving Cosby Show lessons for a 2011 audience. It's not entirely coincidence that the Reeds home seems to carry echoes of the Cosby's. Warner notes in an interview with BET: That was definitely the mold we were going for. When you look at the history of Black sitcoms throughout the course of television I think, for the most part, they kind of all fit around the same category. But when you look at The Cosby Show — that fits into a category all in itself. From the onset, we’ve been pretty clear that we’re trying to go for that other category.
I'm excited to go on the journey with the Reed family. The first two episodes aired in a double header tonight, and they lived up to the hype. I can honestly say my Tuesday evening television line up now includes Reed Between The Lines for as long as it's on the air.
I'm excited to go on the journey with the Reed family. The first two episodes aired in a double header tonight, and they lived up to the hype. I can honestly say my Tuesday evening television line up now includes Reed Between The Lines for as long as it's on the air.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Is the Internet Ruining Our Future Relationships?
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I keep hearing these stories by my friends about the various ways in which the internet is causing strain on either a potential or current relationship. So much so that I felt the need to sit down and write about it.
I think it's becoming an epidemic. We meet someone organically, then we learn about them in an inorganic way through Google, Facebook, Twitter, or whatever else is out there. Pick your poison, either way we're gaining intimate knowledge too quickly.
In short, the answer is yes the internet is ruining our relationships. But, in talking with Dushane of The Post Cool about the issue, he brought up an important point:
Is it ruining relationships or saving you from future tragic discoveries?
Perhaps he's right. In an episode of The Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stranger sent NFL player Freddie Mitchell on what was supposed to be an enjoyable date with a southern belle and former cheerleader. The date ended in shock when she confessed she googled him and called the millionaire out for not paying child support. This is likely a subject that would have been broached in conversation when the time was right. Because she googled him, it was inappropriately brought up on their first date and signaled the demise of their budding relationship. Perhaps she avoided a future tragic discovery, but in the meantime, she also put the fire out on what could have been a fun and exciting relationship between two former athletes.
A friend of mine recently confessed that she'd gotten to googling a date just hours before they were due to meet. After searching a number of articles, she found several that mentioned his wife and children. She panicked, and cancelled the date immediately. We ran through our options quickly: "When was the article written?" I asked. She wasn't sure. "Maybe he's since divorced or separated..." I suggested but it was too late, the damage was done and the date stayed cancelled.
I've been crushing on a man at my gym recently. We flirt by the weights and I always practice my highest kicks if he's walking by the Total Body Fitness class. I'm gonna go ahead and classify this as love at first highkick. I knew his first name and that he lived in Queens, so I took to google. After a bit of digging, I found his MySpace page. MySpace? Really? I clicked around and found a series of notes written by my gymcrush, all written in full capitals with no punctuation and spelling errors galore. Needless to say, now, when I see gymcrush I think "why do you still have a MySpace" and "did you go to college?". Clearly, we're going nowhere fast.
I have no clue what's right and what's wrong in this situation. However, I do know that if you go looking for dirt you're bound to get dirty. While we may be saving ourselves from future tragic discoveries, we're also forfeiting the life changing moments (both good and bad) of going through a relationship. Regardless of the outcome, you're often changed for the better.
Now, is that really so bad?
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
iSmile Monday
As a nod to the wonderful musical artist of the greatest feel good hit from 1990's musical genius, Shanice, I'm instituting "iSmile Mondays" on Writing with Wine.
gorgeous fountain in lincoln center
beautiful sunset and view of the skyline from my bedroom window
card from my grandmother
fresh flowers on my bookcase
❤
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Do You Believe in the Death Penalty?
I was surprised to find myself wiping tears off my face at the news that the Supreme Court denied a block of the execution of Troy Davis. I called my mother, and we prayed for peace.
I'm not going to lie, like many, I was one to find out of the trial on Twitter. Between #TooMuchDoubt hashtags, I googled, and googled, and googled. And was left speechless at the lack of evidence supporting the guilty tag he wore. He was convicted of murdering off-duty Officer Mark MacPhail in 1989. Davis maintained his innocence, and doubt continued to weaken the verdict as witness after witness retracted their statements.
Even more so, six retired corrections officers, including a retired warden of the Georgia Department of Corrections (where Davis was held) pleaded for clemency on behalf of Davis. Their statement was powerful, and worth your time to read when considering a stance on the death penalty. Finally, Ben Jealous of the NAACP took to CNN with a woman who claims she knows the actual killer of Officer MacPhail.
As he did four times prior, Davis refused his last meal, knowing that the law would provide justice for him. However, this time, on Wednesday, September 21st at 11:08pm Troy Davis was pronounced dead.
While on the gurney, to the MacPhail family, he maintained his innocence, "I did not personally kill your son, your father, your brother. I am innocent."
He continued, "the incident that happened that night is not my fault. I did not have a gun. All I can ask... is that you look deeper into this case so that you really can finally see the truth."
To his family and friends, he asked that they be strong, keep the faith, work hard, and pray for him. He asked them "to continue to fight this fight."
And finally, to those who took his life, he said "May God have mercy on your souls. May God he bless your souls." And with that, it is reported he laid his head down, and went with the Lord.
At the end of the day, the issue for me is not about whether or not Troy Davis is guilty. It also wasn't about whether or not Lawrence Russell Brewer deserved the death penalty today, just hours before Davis. It's about the faulty concept of Capital Punishment being an acceptable way for a victim's family to gain solace. It was reported that the MacPhail family pleaded for this Davis killing so they could "get on with their lives." For them, I feel sad. Because they have no faith in the Lord that they will be fine so they resort to killing another family's brother, son & uncle in order to save face in their own.
I truly believe this is a severe error in our justice system. And because this is on the local level, there is nothing President Obama can do to stop it. Not in cases like this. Local governments have the option to kill at a judge's personal preference. This trial especially has lead to worldwide protests for Troy Davis. Because in the end, any of us could be in the same position. It's really tragic.
For me, the cliched statement stands:
An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.
I'm not going to lie, like many, I was one to find out of the trial on Twitter. Between #TooMuchDoubt hashtags, I googled, and googled, and googled. And was left speechless at the lack of evidence supporting the guilty tag he wore. He was convicted of murdering off-duty Officer Mark MacPhail in 1989. Davis maintained his innocence, and doubt continued to weaken the verdict as witness after witness retracted their statements.
Even more so, six retired corrections officers, including a retired warden of the Georgia Department of Corrections (where Davis was held) pleaded for clemency on behalf of Davis. Their statement was powerful, and worth your time to read when considering a stance on the death penalty. Finally, Ben Jealous of the NAACP took to CNN with a woman who claims she knows the actual killer of Officer MacPhail.
As he did four times prior, Davis refused his last meal, knowing that the law would provide justice for him. However, this time, on Wednesday, September 21st at 11:08pm Troy Davis was pronounced dead.
While on the gurney, to the MacPhail family, he maintained his innocence, "I did not personally kill your son, your father, your brother. I am innocent."
He continued, "the incident that happened that night is not my fault. I did not have a gun. All I can ask... is that you look deeper into this case so that you really can finally see the truth."
To his family and friends, he asked that they be strong, keep the faith, work hard, and pray for him. He asked them "to continue to fight this fight."
 |
| [via] |
At the end of the day, the issue for me is not about whether or not Troy Davis is guilty. It also wasn't about whether or not Lawrence Russell Brewer deserved the death penalty today, just hours before Davis. It's about the faulty concept of Capital Punishment being an acceptable way for a victim's family to gain solace. It was reported that the MacPhail family pleaded for this Davis killing so they could "get on with their lives." For them, I feel sad. Because they have no faith in the Lord that they will be fine so they resort to killing another family's brother, son & uncle in order to save face in their own.
I truly believe this is a severe error in our justice system. And because this is on the local level, there is nothing President Obama can do to stop it. Not in cases like this. Local governments have the option to kill at a judge's personal preference. This trial especially has lead to worldwide protests for Troy Davis. Because in the end, any of us could be in the same position. It's really tragic.
For me, the cliched statement stands:
An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Mr. Davis
 |
| [via] |
The 23rd Psalm:
The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
To Ring, or Not to Ring
It was a crisp fall day when my girl friend got a phone call from her ex-situationship's wife.
Yup.
My friend had been told the man was divorced and shared custody of their child. She'd been wined and dined and showed her potential closet should she eventually become Mrs. X. What she hadn't been told was that her Mr. X was actually married. He had a wife and a family (heard from the horse's mouth). And her potential closet (with shelves on shelves on shelves for shoes) belonged to someone else.
"I checked for a ring! I even checked for a ring tan and he had neither!" she lamented over unlimited mimosas at brunch in Astoria hot spot, MexiQ.
And then I (obviously) got to thinking about marriage and wedding rings. It's no new topic to me, something I'm often curious about, especially after one of my other girls was approached at her 5 year college reunion by a man who said "wedding rings come off" with a wink.
I think part of why I find this idea disgusting is because I feel so strongly about wearing my rings when the time comes. After some research, I found out that wedding rings were actually a sign of ownership of a man to his wife. More often than not, rings were engraved, not as a romantic gesture, but more along the lines of a "dog tag". Return to sender. So I can't understand the difficulty in men keeping their rings on. If I belong to you, then you belong to me (thank you, Lenny Kravitz). Seems pretty clear to me.
In an effort to better understand this, I called my mother: "Daddy wears his wedding ring right?"
"Oh Maiah, don't be silly. You know your father hates jewelry."
And that was that.
So, I asked my roommate:
Fascinating.
I guess it's true - wearing a ring wouldn't stop a man (or woman) from taking it off and exploring forbidden desires. But I'm a bit old school in thought and have faith that blind trust and sheer love would keep my future husband from cheating. Am I doomed? Perhaps this comes from my parents, who've been happily married 36 years and still have date night. Or perhaps it's due to my roommate's parents, who skype with their daughter wearing matching hoodies.
What do you think? Ladies, will your husband wear a ring? Men, will you be faithful if you don't?
Yup.
My friend had been told the man was divorced and shared custody of their child. She'd been wined and dined and showed her potential closet should she eventually become Mrs. X. What she hadn't been told was that her Mr. X was actually married. He had a wife and a family (heard from the horse's mouth). And her potential closet (with shelves on shelves on shelves for shoes) belonged to someone else.
"I checked for a ring! I even checked for a ring tan and he had neither!" she lamented over unlimited mimosas at brunch in Astoria hot spot, MexiQ.
And then I (obviously) got to thinking about marriage and wedding rings. It's no new topic to me, something I'm often curious about, especially after one of my other girls was approached at her 5 year college reunion by a man who said "wedding rings come off" with a wink.
I think part of why I find this idea disgusting is because I feel so strongly about wearing my rings when the time comes. After some research, I found out that wedding rings were actually a sign of ownership of a man to his wife. More often than not, rings were engraved, not as a romantic gesture, but more along the lines of a "dog tag". Return to sender. So I can't understand the difficulty in men keeping their rings on. If I belong to you, then you belong to me (thank you, Lenny Kravitz). Seems pretty clear to me.
In an effort to better understand this, I called my mother: "Daddy wears his wedding ring right?"
"Oh Maiah, don't be silly. You know your father hates jewelry."
And that was that.
So, I asked my roommate:
 |
| [tweet tweet] |
Fascinating.
I guess it's true - wearing a ring wouldn't stop a man (or woman) from taking it off and exploring forbidden desires. But I'm a bit old school in thought and have faith that blind trust and sheer love would keep my future husband from cheating. Am I doomed? Perhaps this comes from my parents, who've been happily married 36 years and still have date night. Or perhaps it's due to my roommate's parents, who skype with their daughter wearing matching hoodies.
What do you think? Ladies, will your husband wear a ring? Men, will you be faithful if you don't?
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Girl About Town: BNO and Cocktails & Couture
That's the thing about Fashion Week. When I'm working with so many beauty and fashion clients it's nearly impossible to keep up on my labor of love. Sometimes, rather than burning the midnight oil on a post, a girl just needs her girlfriends and a cocktail. So that's what I did to get through the week.
Last Friday, September 9th, my coworker and I jumped in a cab and rushed over to Pranna Restaurant for Blogger's Night Out. The event proved to be the perfect antidote to the previous night's Fashion's Night Out festivities (or fiasco). #BNOnyc was organized by six amazing fashion bloggers from all walks of life. Their intentions? To create an opportunity for other bloggers to come together and network (or just have a great time) with drinks sponsored by Voga Italia, polishes by Zoya, glitz and glam by Send the Trend, and shopping opportunities by Shop It To Me, Sole Society, OpenSky, and Tortoise & Blonde. Hoping the girls decide to make it a bi-annual party so I can indulge again in February. Is it really too much to ask? Fingers crossed!
The next night, I met up with the girls again for the Cocktails & Couture party. The event was held at Bo Concept and hosted by the fabulous Lianne Farbes. Guests were privy to 3 specialty cocktails by X-Rated Fusion Liqueur, which I've been dying to try and was lucky enough to be gifted a small sample for my home. The event itself was so much fun - it was put together by my PR girl crush, Christina Rice of LuxeLife Media. Guests were an interesting range of New Yorkers, bloggers, fashionistas, and more. I was awestruck when Wendy Lam of nitro:licious walked by, and thrilled when LoveBrownSugar perched her gorgeous self on the arm of the sofa I was sitting on for a little chat. Love that girl!
The next night, I met up with the girls again for the Cocktails & Couture party. The event was held at Bo Concept and hosted by the fabulous Lianne Farbes. Guests were privy to 3 specialty cocktails by X-Rated Fusion Liqueur, which I've been dying to try and was lucky enough to be gifted a small sample for my home. The event itself was so much fun - it was put together by my PR girl crush, Christina Rice of LuxeLife Media. Guests were an interesting range of New Yorkers, bloggers, fashionistas, and more. I was awestruck when Wendy Lam of nitro:licious walked by, and thrilled when LoveBrownSugar perched her gorgeous self on the arm of the sofa I was sitting on for a little chat. Love that girl!
 |
| Larissa, Allison, Christina & I |
Guests indulged in manicures by CND, hair demos by title sponsor Indique Hair, skincare tips by Specific Beauty, and the gift bag included pieces from Immunocologie, Philippe Matignon, & FRS. What's more is a few lucky guests walked away with the Clairsonic Cleansing System, which only furthered my jealous of Lianne Farbes' beautiful skin. #iWant.
Looking forward to next season's C&C party, which has already been announced for February!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Ten Years Later
Ten years ago, I turned 16. I put on my favorite skirt, did the worst make up I could do (also known as the best make up a high schooler could do), and went to school proud that today was my birthday.
Ten years ago, my best friend met me in the cafeteria with something called "Sex Cake" even though none of us has experienced the title. She wished me a happy birthday and we indulged in our fat kid ways, eating chocolate before first period.
Ten years ago, my history teacher was called outside the classroom by our principal (the perks of small schools). He came back in with a somber expression and turned on the television. He told us there was something tragic was happening in New York City. As a classroom, we all watched the news.
Ten years ago, sitting in my history class, I watched the second plane fly into The World Trade Center. I blinked, not quite sure what had happened. And then watched Channel 5 replay the footage over, and over, and over again. It never began to feel real.
Ten years ago.
Ten years later, I turned 26. I put on my most comfortable leggings, threw on some boots and a tank, and went to brunch with my roommate. I celebrated the night before with good friends, and resolved to go home early.
Ten years later, I decided not to plan anything, or do anything over the top for this birthday. Partly because I work in a job where I plan every last detail of other people's lives. Partly because it felt right not to.
Ten years later, I cringed at the idea of friends on the train to celebrate me, should anything occur at the hands of the folks who vowed to come back into our lives as abrasively as they did the first time. I stayed in my borough, traveled only within walking distance of my apartment, and hoped others did the same.
Ten years later, I silently celebrated life and my loved ones. I welcomed their well wishes, and sent along my own as a thank you. I prayed for serenity, patience, and longevity. I prayed for you. I prayed for them.
Ten years later.
Ten years ago, my best friend met me in the cafeteria with something called "Sex Cake" even though none of us has experienced the title. She wished me a happy birthday and we indulged in our fat kid ways, eating chocolate before first period.
Ten years ago, my history teacher was called outside the classroom by our principal (the perks of small schools). He came back in with a somber expression and turned on the television. He told us there was something tragic was happening in New York City. As a classroom, we all watched the news.
Ten years ago, sitting in my history class, I watched the second plane fly into The World Trade Center. I blinked, not quite sure what had happened. And then watched Channel 5 replay the footage over, and over, and over again. It never began to feel real.
Ten years ago.
Ten years later, I turned 26. I put on my most comfortable leggings, threw on some boots and a tank, and went to brunch with my roommate. I celebrated the night before with good friends, and resolved to go home early.
Ten years later, I decided not to plan anything, or do anything over the top for this birthday. Partly because I work in a job where I plan every last detail of other people's lives. Partly because it felt right not to.
Ten years later, I cringed at the idea of friends on the train to celebrate me, should anything occur at the hands of the folks who vowed to come back into our lives as abrasively as they did the first time. I stayed in my borough, traveled only within walking distance of my apartment, and hoped others did the same.
Ten years later, I silently celebrated life and my loved ones. I welcomed their well wishes, and sent along my own as a thank you. I prayed for serenity, patience, and longevity. I prayed for you. I prayed for them.
Ten years later.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Girl About Town: NYFW + an Essence Mag Feature
I feel pretty blessed that a large part of my everyday job revolves around planning for and being at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week every 6 months. While the work that goes into a successful event isn't always glamorous, I seem to find myself enjoying the finer things when the moment strikes.
Case in point: this girl is featured on Essence Magazine's Street Style coverage for fashion week. The photographer, Darío of Art-X Studio was SUPER sweet during the quick shoot. That's my new fashion week boo.
Look, Ma! Essence Mag calls me a writer!
Don't mind me and my geeked out response to this love - I'm just a girl from the suburbs trying to do it in the city.
xoxo
Case in point: this girl is featured on Essence Magazine's Street Style coverage for fashion week. The photographer, Darío of Art-X Studio was SUPER sweet during the quick shoot. That's my new fashion week boo.
 |
| [via check out photos 40-43] |
What I'm wearing:
Express button down & cami, Club Monaco Skirt,
Coach boots, David Yurman Jewels, Louis Vuitton Neverfull, & Sunnies from UO
Look, Ma! Essence Mag calls me a writer!
Don't mind me and my geeked out response to this love - I'm just a girl from the suburbs trying to do it in the city.
xoxo
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Eat, Learn, Move
People have gone viral crazy for the series of videos created by three dudes commissioned by STA Travel Australia. Rick Mereki, Tim White, and Andrew Lees traveled for 44 days, visiting 11 countries on 18 separate flights spanning the distance of 38,000 miles. Their travels were done in an effort to "turn 3 ambitious linear concepts based on movement, learning and food into 3 beautiful and hopefully compelling short films."
I am obsessed with them all.
A little bit of saturday afternoon viewing for all of you, as you explore the films by the 3 dudes who travelled the world. Hopefully it inspires you. At the very least, enjoy the very handsom Andrew Lees get his walk, dance, and eat on.
(1) EAT
(2) LEARN
(3) MOVE
I am obsessed with them all.
A little bit of saturday afternoon viewing for all of you, as you explore the films by the 3 dudes who travelled the world. Hopefully it inspires you. At the very least, enjoy the very handsom Andrew Lees get his walk, dance, and eat on.
(2) LEARN
(3) MOVE
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