iCare: Beyonce & Jay-Z Pregnant

The story surrounding Beyonce and Jay-Z’s pregnancy has me beaming. Beaming. And I know most people are wondering, “why should we care?”

Well, #iCare for the same reason I was heartbroken at the rumors that Will & Jada were divorcing (not true, phew). #iCare for the same reason I love the relationship Oprah and Steadman share: she says he is her rock. He steadies her. I love that. #iCare because inspiring Style & Beauty Editor, Julee Wilson says her greatest accomplishment is finding love with someone who “elevates all of the positive aspects about me.”

Beyonce announced her pregnancy on the black carpet at the MTV VMA pre-show. There was a collective gasp heard across the world, then everyone took to twitter. My girl Kanetha’s tweet from last night sums it up perfectly.

#iCare because Beyonce and Jay-Z took the journey towards love that little 20th century girls dream about. You know, that sort of old school chivalrous courtship that begins in butterflies and ends in a union? Plus, Beyonce never turned away from her first love, music, in building her relationship with Hova.

For some reason, this seems like a rare find these days. It’s inspirational, and their joy is palpable.

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Just watch:

Get More: 2011 VMA, Music, Beyoncé

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I'm Waiting to Exhale

Oprah Winfrey can get it.

I mean it. I find her honesty, her history (herstory) to be a complete excitement.

I've been glued to to the television for the past two Sunday nights at 9pm listening to her story with a box of tissues and a look of shock and awe on my face. She has graciously offered up her life within a series titled, Master Class. Previous interviewees included Maya Angelou (for whom I am named after), Diane Sawyer, Jay-Z and others. While I resonated with the stories, especially Maya's, I found myself head over heels for Oprah's because she gets it. She can get it.

When things "aren't going right"... whatever that's supposed to mean, my mother always says "Maiah, it never looks like what you want it to". This applies to my career, my relationships, my dreams coming to fruition. Nothing. Ever. Looks like you want it to. But the key is accepting that something out there (be it whatever you do or do not believe in) is prepping you.

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A "failed" love is a lesson in love.

A "failed" endeavor is a lesson in the next.

A "bad" day teaches you how to make the next greater.

These things create turmoil in our lives... those "failures" and "upsets" when things aren't going as you imagined. The hardest part for me, a controlling Virgo who over-analyzes things to the death, is letting go.

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Oprah (and Mommy) has reminded me to have faith that this journey I'm on is leading somewhere positive.

So with this, I make an affirmation:

I will let go.

I will give it up to the greater power.

I will exhale.

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I Made My Mother Cry Today

... Not because I was awful to her, or delivered horrible news. Not because I asked her to cry, or wished that she would.

I made my mother cry today. Because I cried and then she cried too.

I imagined my father, standing in the nook between their bedroom and the study, perhaps with his arms crossed or his hands in fists. I imagined him thinking about the 4 hour distance between us and how to make it shorter if he needed to. I imagined him softening - looking at my mother, whom he has loved for over 30 years.

I made my mother cry today, because there is a bond between a mother and a daughter that is impossible to explain. It's the reason why I call her when I find a pair of jeans on sale. It's the reason why I leave messages at home with just a whistle or a "huh."

It's the reason why I call home every single day just to hear her voice.  Just to know what they've been up to: "your father and I went to Mexican tonight!" Or what she's trying to avoid: "I told your father that if we eat Chinese food one more time we're going to turn into lo mein!"

But most importantly, I made my mother cry today because she can feel my pain and though she shields me from hers, I can feel it (and my father's) too.

I made my mother cry today. And for me, it's the one thing I cannot fathom and will always cherish: the unconditional love between a mother, and a daughter... and a father, who stands nearby, waiting to help and trying to figure out how he can ease the struggle. It's the love I hope to find, and the love I want to share.

I made my mother cry today. Because I cried and then she cried too.

---

for mommy and daddy, xo.

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See Ya, 2010. Oh hey, 2011.

It's been a hell of a year, hasn't it?

The ups and the downs.
The smiles and the frowns.
The happy faces and the side eyes.

I'm thrilled for the new year. 2010 ain't got nothin' on what 2011 is about to be.

I've got a good feeling.



See you in the new year!
xoxo,
MJ

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A Very Suburban Christmas

As I sit at home drinking South African wine chatting about loving New York (a complete 180 from last year), loving my friends (as always) and loving the great group of men in my life, I felt compelled to switch the channel from I.D. to Lifetime to enjoy some romantic comedies surrounding the holidays.

And, thus, please enjoy my holiday inspired post: My Top 5 Holiday Movies (on Lifetime and otherwise):


5. Elf

Um, if you don't like Elf, then you are completely out of your mind. And I feel sorry for you. Don't worry, there's usually an Elf marathon on TNT Christmas Day.

4. How The Grinch Stole Christmas (cartoon version)


I've been watching How The Grinch Stole Christmas every year on Christmas Eve for as long as I can remember. Not only is it a childhood favorite, but it remains one of my favorite traditions (alongside exchanging one gift before bed). Note: I can't watch the Jim Carey remake. It gives me the creeps.

3. The Family Stone

I absolutely love this movie for a number of reasons. Aside from the incredible story line and great cast, it reminds me every year of the importance of family, especially during the holiday season.

2. Love Acutally

I pretty much die for this movie. I can't let the holiday season go by without watching it at least twice. And it's one of my top three go-to movies when I need a little romantic comedy in my life.

1. A Christmas Story

If you don't love this movie and watch it on repeat starting at 8pm on Christmas Eve then you have a cold, dark heart. Fa-ra-ra-ra-raaaa ra-ra-ra-raaaa!



What are some of your favorite holiday traditions?

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You Can't Have It All

It's Saturday morning, I'm on the train platform, waiting for the N, listening to Zeyi's Working for Bill*, and hoping for inspiration so I can dust the blog off with some fresh writing when it hits me. Hard:

You can't have it all.

Now, this is a shock. And a bit concerning. And totally disheartening to me. I whip out my notebook and scribble down the idea before I head out on my errands for the day, all revolving around work.



You can't have it all? Really? I suppose it's hard to accept, or grasp because it's the opposite of everything I've ever been told. As an only child and single woman, I grew up thinking I could have whatever I set my mind to. Wanna move to NYC? Done. Wanna get a new job? Done. Wanna get that boy at the bar? Done. Wanna get those shoes? Charged.

But then I got online and did a little research, and the results were so depressing.

Uh, what's that?

You can't have it all.

Oh. Okay.

At the beginning of 2010, I did not have it all. I was incredibly single and incredibly sad. I was grateful for one thing: a job that kept me so busy I had no time for thoughts or friends. My days circled around events and industry parties; and it was exactly what I needed to get by.

The summer changed everything. I was making time for friends, making new friends, and trying my hardest to enjoy my 20's. At the same time, I was working harder than I'd worked before. The most epic day was my birthday, where I clocked at least 12 hours at work before heading off to Fashion's Night Out (an important evening for my industry), and then celebrating my 25th. I was on top of the world. Did I have it all? I considered it a possibility but they say hindsight is 20/20 and I now know that's not the case.

Flash forward to December and things have reversed from where they were almost a year ago. I have almost everything I've ever wanted in a solid group of friends who preoccupy the majority of my time when I'm not working. Yet, I feel unfulfilled in other areas.

So wait, you can't have it all?

Hm. Do you think that's the case? I mean, what does "all" really entail when it comes to your life? Love, happiness, a great career, wonderful friends to lean on? Does one always suffer to allow you to achieve the rest?

I suppose I'm on a blind journey to see what's true; throughout which I've been keeping this gift from my mother on my wrist (in the form of a bracelet with the following inscribed)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

I'll let you know where I net out. Where did you?

---

*Note, Working for Bill did not inspire such a sad little post. It inspired me to be creative because it's a work of art. If you're not listening, you should be.

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Suburban Girl Contemplates: Parenthood

Or, My Worst Nightmare Come Alive

Apparently, there comes a time when you say: "I AM MOM" (ew). This concept is similar to saying "I AM WOMAN" except scarier because it involves snotty children. And lamer because there is no empowering song from the 70's that will appear in a Sex & The City movie scene.

My trip to the Brooklyn Ikea spurred this chain of thought. As I waited in line at the pier for the Water Taxi to Ikea, I watched a man and his child. He was so, incredibly happy. He had a diaper bag in one hand and was pointing to his kid, who was dancing by the water. His wife sat on a bench, clapping and smiling.

What a strange existence.

I thought I might have been in this strange twilight zone. Everyone boarding the Ikea boat had a child, a carriage, some diaper bags, etc. It was overwhelming. Scary. Kids were screaming, crying, laughing and touching things (like the ground and such)! It was like going to the circus, but not a fun circus. One of those scary, movie, fun house circuses where clowns carry knives... and babies.

I am sure there must be something so lovely, so satisfying about getting married and raising a child. My parents confirm this suspicion of mine often, but I just can't quite grasp the concept. My parents are incredibly proud of the sacrifices they made so I could have a college education, but all I can think of is all the other things they could have been doing. Like going out to fancy dinners, antiquing, and having dogs a la Valentino and his pugs:

Oy, clearly, this is a never ending and ever evolving conversation. Fate will probably have me ending up on some crazy show like 19 Kids and Counting (oh please no). However, until then I will happy read New York Magazine's most recent article on motherhood and remain thankful for the lack of the additional title of "Mom".

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Suburban Girl Laments: Post Long Weekend Blues

Exactly.

I have two favorite parts of vacation:

1. The moment you drive out of the city on the ever fancy Greyhound bus.


2. The moment you have your first decadent appetizer (in The Cape, it was black truffle infused cheese).

I have one least favorite part of vacation:

1. The moment you finish packing your Polo weekend bag, and zip it up to leave. Some may call this the "Vacation Blues"*

This past weekend was the loveliest of weekends. I spent two nights in my lovely little suburb with Mom and Dad. Our days consisted of coffee, shopping, talking, and acting like the Cosby Family. Unfortunately, there was no soul train this time, as my father reserves that for Christmas. Following my two beautiful nights with the fam, Mom dropped me off at my friend's apartment in the South End (read: my dream neighborhood after Beacon Hill), where we said our tearful goodbyes (okay fine, tearful on my part) and I headed to The Cape.

While on there, I found myself relishing an unexpected silence: the lack of cell phone service and, as a result, the lack of that little "bing!" that sounds on Sunday evening to remind me it's time to go back to work. Rather than my usual stance of clutching my iPhone, I found myself leaving it on the table and enjoying the holiday with friends and family.

Monday afternoon rolled around after too much lobster, too much black truffle cheese, and too many blueberries, and I found myself dreading** everything that I was set to come back to. Tonight, as I reflect on my day and consider the following, I have concluded one thing: thank goodness for four day weeks and summer fridays.

Footnotes:

*Vacation Blues is apparently a scientific term, as defined by Wikipedia. This fact makes me feel awkward.***

**Alexander Kjerulf, the self-titled Chief Happiness Officer, has drawn out this handy little chart for understanding Vacation Blues.

***WebMD also offers a number of tips to "bounce back fast". Yikes.

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